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A woman called me crying.  It was about 4:00 in the morning.  She had enough of the mental, verbal, physical, financial, sexual,  emotional and physical abuse from her husband.  She did not know what to do, but she read my book, I Had No Choice.  She had been in denial for 25 years that she was a battered woman.  As she read chapter 6 over and over again she heard his words and saw herself.   Chapter 9 gave her courage.  By the time she finished the book, she had made and implemented major decisions resulting in major positive changes in her life.  She repeatedly thanked me for the courage to tell my story to help so many.  The book is my true story.  It was painful to live.  it was painful to write.  But it saved a life.  This lady was preparing to take her life.  She showed the courage to change her mind because of what she read in Chapter 8.   It is a blessing that I had the courage to tell women and men that all of us must save our lives.  We Have No Choice.

As seconds run their natural progression and develop into decades it is important that we make it our business to finish what we start.  So often in my personal experience I have found that I would be much further ahead if I had just completed that project, saw that plan through to the end, gave my best to this task.  Even when it was difficult mentally or emotionally, things would have been better had I saw things through to the end, given it my very best, I have the ability to finish what I start.  Each of us has the ability to finish what we start.  Whether it is losing weight, elevating and growing a business, learning a new computer program, finishing a college degree, cleaning the old paper and junk out of the house, we must finish. 

I am not complaining, but I gained so much more time, self-confidence, peace of mind, and truly helped others when I stopped running and 1 task at a time, FINISHED!!!!  The feeling was beyond words.  Doing the small things felt so good, I tackled the big things and now I am finishing even better things – for me.  It is a much better feeling to stop making excuses and watch other people pursue, catch and live their dreams, and watch me pursue and finish my dreams and live them. 

No, I have not done the HUGE things I want to do yet, but I am taking steps and getting closer and closer everyday.

Even a baby step forward, is still a step forward.  Even though it is the end of June, start now, right now, and finish 1 thing you have put down.  Tomorrow do 2.  The next day do 1 or 2 more.  When you push yourself to do what you already know that you can do, you will be astonished to discover that the things you thought you could not do become possible and even easy.

COLIN POWELL’S NARRATION – A MUST READ

Bridging the Gap – General Colin Luther Powell:
American Statesman and Four Star General in the United States Army
Former Secretary of State to President George W. Bush

Read and share with your positive friends…

The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve. Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity. An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people.

As you grow, your associates will change. Some of your friends will not want you to go on. They will want you to stay where they are… Friends that don’t help you climb will want you to crawl. Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream. Those that don’t increase you will eventually decrease you.

Consider this:

Never receive counsel from unproductive people. Never discuss your problems with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because those who never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how. Not everyone has a right to speak into your life. You are certain to get the worst of the bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person. Don’t follow anyone who’s not going anywhere… With some people you spend an evening: with others you invest it. Be careful where you stop to inquire for directions along the road of life. Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the right friendships. If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl. But, if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights.

“A mirror reflects a man’s face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.”

The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you closely associate – for the good and the bad.

Note: Be not mistaken. This is applicable to family as well as friends. Yes…do love, appreciate and be thankful for your family, for they will always be your family no matter what. Just know that they are human first and though they are family to you, they may be a friend to someone else and will fit somewhere in the criteria above.

“In Prosperity Our Friends Know Us. In Adversity We Know Our friends.”

“Never make someone a priority when you are only an option for them.”

“If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude..”..

Colin Powell

January 1, is always New Year Resolution time.  I am not condemning that practice.  Nor will I quote the statistics and numbers that document the percentages and number of resolutions that are broken by January 2, January 7, within two weeks, thirty days, or whatever it may be.   I stopped making New Year’s Resolutions 20 years ago.  It is not important to set a goal for one or more changes every year just because that is what a lot of other people are doing and because it is a New Year.   It is important to set one or more goals for changes regularly.  Every month, week, and sometimes every day. 

In the process don’t get a Goal List mixed in with a To Do List.  That is another subject that will be dealt with in another post this week.

It is important to remember A Year is just A Year. 

12 months.            365 days.         8,765 hours.

But a season can be short or long.  A season can be 1 minute or 10 years. 

Years end. 

Seasons change. 

Our good seasons give way to our trying times.  Our challenging seasons subside to allow the good times to come through. 

Our fruitful seasons come after a season of nonproductivity.  

After a season of calm with nothing much happening, we are able to move forward. 

When we look at a period of a year, we expect things to change one way or the other at the end of the year.   A season, on the other hand is sometimes unpredictable.  The last 10 years have seen weather conditions around the world defy traditional seasons.  People have changed.   The promises of life have caused seasons to change.  The problems of life have caused governments and countries to change.  All within their own season.  The blessing about a season is that no matter what happens, seasons change.

I am going through a particularly rough season now.

But I know eventually it will pass.  I am learning a new lesson every day.  I am learning about my resilience, my weaknesses, my bad habits, my good practices, my strengths, the lives and loves of those around me, I am discovering a lot.  Some things I like.  Some I don’t.  But in a season you make adjustments and rest in that time.  How long will this rough season last?  Only God knows and because I trust Him, it will not be rougher or longer than I can stand.  But please know this, when December 31, 2010 ends and January 21, 2011 begins, I will be at the end of another year.  I may be in this season.  I may be in a new season.  But whatever the Season, it will bring far more than the year will. 

I can give you many cliches as I end this post.  But let me share this with you.  You know the year will do what it always does.

I personally challenge you to embrace your season, no matter how difficult.  If you can embrace it, learn from it, when it passes, even if it is difficult, you will be richer and more stable for the time that has been spent.  Years end.  Seasons change.

Each word has the same number of letters.

Each one of us has lived through each of these words and circumstances on one level or another.  It is up to us to decide how much time, thought and living we will give to each one.

I have learned from watching people whom I view as successful, those who are famous and those who are not.  There are several common threads that never ever EVER change.

1.   They have a very specific goal.

2.   They have a detailed plan.

3.   They add to their knowledge base regularly.

4.   They make mistakes.

5.   They fail.

6.   They examine why and how they failed.

7.   They get up and keep moving.

8.   They learn from their failure and change it from a failure to part of their learning experience on their way to success.

9.   They stay focused on their goal.

10. They never give up.

There are many supportive phases, steps, sources of information to expand each of these and over the next 10 days, to the best of my ability I will complete each one.  Be encouraged.  Not only because it is a new year, but it is a new day, a new hour, a new chance to continue from where you are and  move closer to where you want to be.  I know firsthand about failure, and I can sit down with you anytime you want, and show you how I failed, why I failed, what I learned and what I have done to turn it into success.  There is still a whole lot of work for me to do on myself, but I am doing better.  Baby steps forward are still forward steps. 

Love yourself more this year.  Love yourself more and allow yourself to grow.  I don’t want to be better than you.  That is impossible.  I don’t want you to be better than me.  That is impossible.  But we can both be better today than we were yesterday.  That is my hope for you.  That 8is my wish for you.  In 2010 and always.

The answers for what you need lie within and are free.  You have to do the work and take the work.  You have to keep going forward.  Just because you lose your job, shouldn’t mean that you lose your identity.  You did not lose your skills, your talent or your expertise.  What you’ve got to do now is create opportunities where the skills, talent and experience can be transferable.  You have to create your own opportunities.  The good old days ain’t coming back.  Ain’t nothing back there.  After you accept this, make a personal balance sheet where you look at what you’re good at.  Too many times a lot of us let our self-worth and our net worth get confused.  Focus on your self-worth.  Net worth is going to fluctuate.   Self-worth should not.

Stay focused, tough times don’t always last.  We’re going to get through this thing.  When the economy turns, and it will, who will you be?  Will you be the same person with the same values?  Or will you take this time to grow and live a balanced life?

ABOVE IS AN EXCERPT FROM CHRISTOPHER GARDNER’S BOOK START WHERE YOU ARE: LIFE LESSONS IN THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS.

Figure it out for yourself, my lad.

You’ve got all that the greatest of men have had,

Two arms, two hands, two legs, two eyes,

And a brain to use if you would be wise.

With this equipment they all began,

So start for the top and say, “I Can.”

Look them over, the wise and the great,

They take their food from a common plate,

And similar knives and forks they use,

With similar laces they tie their shoes.

The world considers them brave and smart,

But you’ve got all they had when they made their start.

You can triumph and come to skill,

You can be great if only you will.

You’re well equipped for the fight you choose,

You have arms and legs and a brain to use.

And the man who has risen great deeds to do,

Began his life with no more than you.

You are the handicap you must face,

You are the one who must choose your place,

You must say where you want to go,

How much you will study the truth to know.

God has equipped you for life, but He

Lets you decide what you want to be.

Courage must come from the soul within,

The man must furnish the will to win.

So figure it out for yourself, my lad,

You were born with all the great have had,

With your equipment they all began.

Get hold of yourself, and say: “I Can.”

When Erma Bombeck graduated from high school in 1944, she was determined to go to college and become a successful writer.  She enrolled at Ohio University, but her future as a writer seemed bleak.  Articles for the college newspaper were rejected, and she struggled to pass freshman composition.  Discouraged, she enrolled at the University of Dayton.

Brother Tom Price, faculty advisor for the university omagazine, invited her to do some humor pieces. Erma gave it a try and one day Brother Tom turned to her and said three key words which would change her life; “You can write.”

Upon her 1949 graduation, Erma got a job at the Dayton Journal-Herald where she launched the career that would make her famous.  Her column, based on her experiences as a wife and mother, eventually spread to 900 newspapers.

IT IS OUR LIGHT, NOT OUR DARKNESS THAT MOST FRIGHTENS US.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There’s nothign enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shire, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, Our presence automatically liberates others.

Personal note from Dorma.  This is the quoe that has made the biggest difference in my life.  This is the message that has given me strength and most of all, courage, when I needed it most.

THE CHAMPION is always a part of the answer.

THE FAILURE is always part of the problem.

THE CHAMPION always has a program.

THE FAILURE always has an excuse.

THE CHAMPION sees a green near every sand trap.

THE FAILURE sees two or three sand traps near every green.

THE CHAMPION says “Let me do it for you.”

THE FAILURE says, “That’s not my job.”

THE CHAMPION sees an answer for every problem.

THE FAILURE sees a problem in every answer.

THE CHAMPION says “It may be difficult, but it’s possible.”

THE FAILURE says “It may be possible, but its too difficult.”