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January 1, is always New Year Resolution time.  I am not condemning that practice.  Nor will I quote the statistics and numbers that document the percentages and number of resolutions that are broken by January 2, January 7, within two weeks, thirty days, or whatever it may be.   I stopped making New Year’s Resolutions 20 years ago.  It is not important to set a goal for one or more changes every year just because that is what a lot of other people are doing and because it is a New Year.   It is important to set one or more goals for changes regularly.  Every month, week, and sometimes every day. 

In the process don’t get a Goal List mixed in with a To Do List.  That is another subject that will be dealt with in another post this week.

It is important to remember A Year is just A Year. 

12 months.            365 days.         8,765 hours.

But a season can be short or long.  A season can be 1 minute or 10 years. 

Years end. 

Seasons change. 

Our good seasons give way to our trying times.  Our challenging seasons subside to allow the good times to come through. 

Our fruitful seasons come after a season of nonproductivity.  

After a season of calm with nothing much happening, we are able to move forward. 

When we look at a period of a year, we expect things to change one way or the other at the end of the year.   A season, on the other hand is sometimes unpredictable.  The last 10 years have seen weather conditions around the world defy traditional seasons.  People have changed.   The promises of life have caused seasons to change.  The problems of life have caused governments and countries to change.  All within their own season.  The blessing about a season is that no matter what happens, seasons change.

I am going through a particularly rough season now.

But I know eventually it will pass.  I am learning a new lesson every day.  I am learning about my resilience, my weaknesses, my bad habits, my good practices, my strengths, the lives and loves of those around me, I am discovering a lot.  Some things I like.  Some I don’t.  But in a season you make adjustments and rest in that time.  How long will this rough season last?  Only God knows and because I trust Him, it will not be rougher or longer than I can stand.  But please know this, when December 31, 2010 ends and January 21, 2011 begins, I will be at the end of another year.  I may be in this season.  I may be in a new season.  But whatever the Season, it will bring far more than the year will. 

I can give you many cliches as I end this post.  But let me share this with you.  You know the year will do what it always does.

I personally challenge you to embrace your season, no matter how difficult.  If you can embrace it, learn from it, when it passes, even if it is difficult, you will be richer and more stable for the time that has been spent.  Years end.  Seasons change.

  
          http://www.ls.cc.al.us/blackhistory/blackhistory.html  

On of the pieces that I found most fascinating is the story of the Haitian family, the only recorded family of color on the Titanic.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I have.  I hope you visit as much as I have.

Each word has the same number of letters.

Each one of us has lived through each of these words and circumstances on one level or another.  It is up to us to decide how much time, thought and living we will give to each one.

I have learned from watching people whom I view as successful, those who are famous and those who are not.  There are several common threads that never ever EVER change.

1.   They have a very specific goal.

2.   They have a detailed plan.

3.   They add to their knowledge base regularly.

4.   They make mistakes.

5.   They fail.

6.   They examine why and how they failed.

7.   They get up and keep moving.

8.   They learn from their failure and change it from a failure to part of their learning experience on their way to success.

9.   They stay focused on their goal.

10. They never give up.

There are many supportive phases, steps, sources of information to expand each of these and over the next 10 days, to the best of my ability I will complete each one.  Be encouraged.  Not only because it is a new year, but it is a new day, a new hour, a new chance to continue from where you are and  move closer to where you want to be.  I know firsthand about failure, and I can sit down with you anytime you want, and show you how I failed, why I failed, what I learned and what I have done to turn it into success.  There is still a whole lot of work for me to do on myself, but I am doing better.  Baby steps forward are still forward steps. 

Love yourself more this year.  Love yourself more and allow yourself to grow.  I don’t want to be better than you.  That is impossible.  I don’t want you to be better than me.  That is impossible.  But we can both be better today than we were yesterday.  That is my hope for you.  That 8is my wish for you.  In 2010 and always.

October is Domestic Violence Month.  A time set aside to raise awareness of this horrible problem of Domestic Abuse of all kinds. 

7% of women are physically abused. 

33% of women are mentally, verbally, emotionally and financially abused.

In the time it took to read the above 3 lines, 5 women were raped by their husband or significant other.  And those are the reported ones. 

But let me share with you a portion of MY STORY.  

I dreamed of owning a business.

I worked sometimes six and seven days a week, sacrificed buying clothes and furniture, omitted vacations and saved money.

I started a business and built it into a successful enterprise.

I made a choice to became entangled in a relationship witha person who turned out to be  the wrong  man.

For 10 years I endured every kind of battering . . . except physical abuse.   The sad part is because I never felt his foot or his fist, I did not know I was a battered woman.  It was mental, emotional, spiritual, financial, sexual, verbal.  I wanted to commit suicide but the bigger part of me wanted to live.  I spent thousands of hours and hundreds of sleepless nights and painful days wondering how I got in that mess. 

I discovered a raw painful truth.  I got in because I made a conscious choice.  

I stayed in the relationship because I made an unconscious choice to stop loving myself and start loving him more. 

I allowed the mistreatment because I believed I could do no better.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am not minimizing physical abuse.  I am not making fun of anyone’s suffering.  I am not saying the abuser is not to blame.  He or she is definitely to blame.  But they can’t do anything to us unless and until we stop loving ourselves enough to recognize that we have to stop them and get out of the living hell.  

It is believed and reported that 75% of battered women who leave their abusers end up dead.

It is PROVEN that over 90% who stay end up dead.  

It is better to try to run and increase your chances of survival than to stay and guarantee your prognosis of death.

I was scared.  I was broken in spirit.  I had no self-esteem.  I lost all my confidence.  All of the money I did not give him through his manipulation I lost trying to pay his bills instead of mine.  Yes there is a lot more to it and it is all in my book, I HAD NO CHOICE.

I bared my soul in an effort to help somebody else.  You are more valuable than anyone or anything in your life.  God (or whomever your Supreme Being Force is in your life) does not want you to be abused in any way.  I call my book truthful fiction because I told the truth about the relationship using actual events and some metaphors.  I tell the fiction part in the last half of the book because I tell my five bieggest dreams I have had since I was 8 years old.  In the book they come true.  In real life, we will wait and see.

An Entrepreneur Makes it Easier on Your Wallet – and Conscience – to Fill Up Your Gas Tank

This year, a new African-American-owned energy company will make it possible to spend less money at the pump.  Atlanta-based Amanah Energy is developing Vetco Alternative Fuels, which will offer both traditional gasoline products and biofuels, including biodiesel and ethanol.  the first 13 of 100 Vetco Alternative Fuels fueling stations are scheduled for rollout in the Southeast in Spring of 2009.  The cost of alternative fuel at Vetco stations will be about 10 to 15 percent less than the price of traditional gas today, according to Amanah Energy’s CEO, Richard Shabazz.  “We can use catfish waste or algae to produce biodiesel and cellulosic biomass, such as plants, to create ethanol.  Amanah Energy will deploy patented technology that will convert waste to energy, which will significantly reduce the cost to produce fuel and decrease America’s dependence on foreign oil.  The reduced cost of production will be passed down to the consumer by lowering the cost at the pump,” Shabazz says.  The first plant to produce Vetco biofuel will open in Ohio in February 2009.  For more details, visit vetcoalternativefuels.com.

I DARE YOU     to spend more time reading God’s Word than the daily newspaper.

I DARE YOU     to face your doubts and conquer them.

I DARE YOU     to brave the snickers of your friends and live in the simple style which will enabloe you to spend more time with Christ.

I DARE YOU     to challenege your friends to live up to their professed religion.

I DARE YOU     to take Christ with you into the classroom, office, and workshhop.

I DARE YOU     to tell the truty in love whenever you speak.

I DARE YOU     to live above the average standard of morals and be really virtuous.

I DARE YOU     to be honest with yourself and evaluate the way you spend your leisure time in the light of your love for Christ.

I DARE YOU     to be courageous and willing to accept criticism by trying to start some new form of Christian ministry.

I DARE YOU     to throw your whole soul into the worship of God every time you meet for that purpose.

I DARE YOU     to work half as hard to win people to Christ as you work for your business.

I DARE YOU     to act as if you believe that Jesus is the Christ.

Attend church faithfully

Be careful what you say.

Consider carefully every decision.

do right: Fear to do wrong.

Endure hardships without complaint.

Forsake not your family and friends.

Go no place that would harm your influence.

Hate no one; do good to every person.

Ignore no person; practice hospitality.

Join hands with other righteous people.

Keep your mind pure.

Lie not; always tell the truth.

Minister to the needy.

Never try to appear to be what you are not.

Oppose evil.

Pay your debts promptly.

Question not the motives of others.

Remember all of God’s gifts.

Sacrifice money rather than principle.

Think before you speak.

Use your time wisely.

Value the Bible above all books.

Watch your temper.

X-ray your thoughts.

Yield not to temptation.

Zealously labor for the Lord.

There’s a holy high vocation needing workers everywhere;

Tis the highest form of service – Tis the ministry of prayer.

None need stand idly longing for a place in which to share

Active service for the Master there’s always room in prayer.

In these days of tribulation, wickedness pervades the air;

And the battles we engage in must be won by fervent prayer.

There’s no weapon half so mighty as what the intercessors bear;

Nor a broader field of service than the ministry of prayer.

James Fortune was homeless when he wrote his song, “I Trust You”  God is trying to show you something and develop you.  Listen to what He says and trust Him.”

“Do you see what I’m going through?  God told me to ‘trust me even when you can’t see men, even when it seems I”ve forgotten about you.   Without faith, it’s impossible to please God.

I was thinking that was the worst time in my life.  Now I see that was the best thing that happened to me.  God knew that three years later, people would be going through what I was going through and would need to hear that song.  I see what God was up to.  This son is bringing people hope and encouragement.  He had to get me iin that situation to write that song.  I wouldn’t have written it if I was prosperous.”

The answers for what you need lie within and are free.  You have to do the work and take the work.  You have to keep going forward.  Just because you lose your job, shouldn’t mean that you lose your identity.  You did not lose your skills, your talent or your expertise.  What you’ve got to do now is create opportunities where the skills, talent and experience can be transferable.  You have to create your own opportunities.  The good old days ain’t coming back.  Ain’t nothing back there.  After you accept this, make a personal balance sheet where you look at what you’re good at.  Too many times a lot of us let our self-worth and our net worth get confused.  Focus on your self-worth.  Net worth is going to fluctuate.   Self-worth should not.

Stay focused, tough times don’t always last.  We’re going to get through this thing.  When the economy turns, and it will, who will you be?  Will you be the same person with the same values?  Or will you take this time to grow and live a balanced life?

ABOVE IS AN EXCERPT FROM CHRISTOPHER GARDNER’S BOOK START WHERE YOU ARE: LIFE LESSONS IN THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS.